


Certainly Uncertain

by viva_astraea



Category: RoomieOfficial - Fandom
Genre: 18+, Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, F/M, Fingering, Friends With Benefits, Multiple Orgasms, Multiple Sex Positions, One Shot, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Vaginal Sex, absolute sin, turn around and never return, two horny idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:20:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28889010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viva_astraea/pseuds/viva_astraea
Summary: Friends without benefits, but not for long.Porn without plot.A disclaimer before you start reading: This fanfic is purely creative expression, or an outlet, if you will. I do not condone the idolizing or sexualization of real-life people, and if you do, please don't read this fanfic. This is fiction and always will be.
Relationships: Joel Berghult/Reader
Comments: 10
Kudos: 8





	Certainly Uncertain

Joel kisses at my neck as I tug at the hem of his shirt and pull it off.

“God, you’re so fucking hot,” he says, hand brushing between my legs and making me squeal.

“You always say that,” I say with a giggle.

He chuckles lowly. “That’s because I don’t want you to forget.”

I slide a knee towards his bulge slowly and apply a small amount of pressure. “You’re such a sap.”

He hisses between his teeth slightly and then pecks me on the lips. “Let’s get these clothes off, I’m tired of waiting.”

“Me too,” I say, taking my shirt off.

For months now, this is all we’ve been doing. We meet up with friends, we talk a little bit before going off on our own, we end up eye-fucking each other from across the room, and then we go home together and have sex. Nothing permanent has been established, we just sleep together, wake up, and one of us goes home. A few of our friends have noticed, but I think they’re smart enough to not say anything.

Joel is an incredible lay. He’s considerate, but he doesn’t hesitate. He’s kind, but firm. Passionate, but nonexclusive.

The perfect friend to have sex with.

I used to think that neither of us have the time or energy for a relationship. We may fuck like rabbits when we’re alone, but as soon as the night is over, we go back to normal. We text each other when we need something, but nothing’s planned.

Which is why it got hard when I started catching feelings.

It was the little things he did, like making some breakfast that I can take with me when I leave, or when he stuck with me when I was hungover and throwing up into his sink. Little caresses and touches made me feel like he actually gave a shit. He even threw some money my way when I got fired from my job, and supported me a bit while I found a new one.

I suppose it’s no good to have a friend with benefits if they’re starving or getting sick from the cold.

I rationalize all these things in my head, chalking it all up to him being an actually nice person who just needs to get off every once in a while. Which I can totally respect, but my feelings are beginning to get overwhelming.

It’s infuriating, because there’s simply no possibility that he feels the same way. Yeah, I can give a good blow job, but am I emotionally or mentally available? Is he?

The long answer is mostly speculation, but the short answer is _no_. Probably.

I sigh slightly to myself as I peel my leggings off my body. _Just another night with him. Don’t make it anything bigger than it needs to be. Get off and leave._

Joel steps out of his jeans and looks me up and down. “You gonna continue to take your time?”

I roll my eyes at him. “I’ll take as long as I want to, asshole.”

“Fine, waste both of our time, I don’t care,” he throws back, a touch of lighthearted banter in his tone.

“Help me with my bra?” I ask with a smirk. We both know damn well that I’m capable of taking it off myself, but teasing him is one of my favorite hobbies.

He steps briskly towards me and wraps his arms around me from behind, hands traveling smoothly over my stomach and pausing at my hips. He kisses at the nape of my neck, making me moan softly.

“You waste my time, I’ll waste yours,” he whispers, pushing forward with his hips slightly and grinding against me.

“Motherfucker,” I mutter, reaching back for my bra clasp.

He grabs my wrist and plants a final kiss onto my shoulder before slowly undoing my bra. “None of that, you decided the pace.”

“It’s not as fun when you play along,” I growl, wrenching my hand away. It doesn’t take much effort as he wasn’t holding it very firmly, but he still achieved his goal, whatever it was.

“Why not?” he says as I lift my arms. He complies and slides it off for me, kissing where the straps were previously.

“Because you’re a douche about it.”

Joel scoffs. “Excuse me, I am a very good person. I have _never_ teased you in my entire life.”

I am entirely unimpressed by his sarcasm. “I’ll believe you if you continue to put that mouth of yours to work.”

“Gladly.” He spins me around and kisses me deeply, plunging his tongue into my mouth. I respond by palming his cock unashamedly and he nearly pulls away.

Groaning into my mouth, he gropes at my breast, making me squirm.

“Can we skip the foreplay?” I say, breaking away and squeezing his cock once again, causing him to throw his head back slightly. “I’m really not interested in dragging things out tonight.”

That much is true. However, I’ve been getting more and more attached to cuddling with him afterward. A selfish thought, I know, but might as well enjoy it while it lasts, right?

“Yeah, that’s fine with me.”

“Great.” I climb onto the bed, kneeling. “Come here, I know what you want.”

Joel crawls up next to me and lays on the bed, a stupid grin coming over his face. “We’ve been doing this for long enough, right?”

“Take your fucking boxers off,” I say, pretending to be annoyed. “I’ve set myself up for this expectation, haven’t I?”

“Damn right you have,” he says, flinging his boxers into the mess of my room. “Now, if you please…”

I roll my eyes and grasp his cock in one hand as I gently lick the underside of the tip. He arches his back slightly and exhales.

“God…” he says, shuddering. I smirk at him and take the tip in, swirling my tongue around the head.

He inhales sharply and grabs my hair. “F-fuck…”

I try to ignore his attempts to get me to go faster as he tugs gently on my hair. I bob my head more and more with each repetition, taking most of his cock into my throat.

I feel his legs curl around my body slightly. I make direct eye contact with him as I grasp the rest of his cock with both my hands and stroke for a few seconds, my mouth still over the tip.

Joel looks down at me. His eyes, normally so bright and focused, are suddenly made foggy with lust and incoherency.

That’s the look I love to see. The look that lets me know that I’m doing my job.

He firmly pushes down on my head as he bites his lip. “C’mon…”

I remove my mouth from his dick and stroke him slowly. “You don’t want to be doing that.”

He huffs in annoyance and removes his hand from my head. “Fine.”

I raise my eyebrows slightly and begin licking around the tip again.

“Oh, f-fuck…”

I take him deep into my throat again, squeezing his balls as I do so. The muscles in his neck tense as he’s overcome with pleasure.

“K-keep doing that,” he moans, hands grasping at the sheets.

“Mmm,” I hum, alternating when my hands are around him and when he’s in my throat.

His legs are beginning to twitch, and his eyes are squeezing shut more often than usual.

“Mm, I’m close,” he says, fingers brushing through my hair.

I nod subtly and continue, pushing through the personal discomfort of forcing something down my throat. I try to think that it’s for the sake of making him more patient in the next few minutes, but realistically, I don’t know what the point is.

 _For the sake of pleasing him, of course,_ I think to myself, before cursing in my head. No, _I’m_ not _doing it for him, I just want relief._

 _Likely story…_ my thoughts whisper back.

I resist the urge to roll my eyes in real life and keep the rhythm of sucking him off.

“Shit…” he says, his eyes screwed shut and brow furrowed. His hand finds its way back to my hair and tangles itself there. “I-I’m gonna come…”

Humming quietly, I prepare myself.

He moans loudly as his cock throbs, sending hot cum down my throat. I swallow quickly, trying to keep up with the flow of cum that continues for a few seconds before ebbing away.

Joel leans back, panting slightly. “Damn, just as good as ever.”

“So, while you’re recovering or whatever, what are you gonna do about _this_?” I demand, gesturing to the problem between my legs.

He sits up suddenly, leveling with me and grabbing my face. “Don’t worry about it.”

His lips are on mine, and I’m suddenly having a hard time keeping up with him. His tongue enters my mouth, his fingers are dancing over my nipple, and his intent is unclear.

My moans are muffled by his mouth, and he smiles into the kiss. “Lay back.”

“What? Why?” I say, confused.

He gently pushes me, causing me to yelp softly and fall backwards.

“Wh-”

Joel silences me by kissing me, his hands on both sides of my body, trapping me in. He grinds on me slightly, his hips making contact with my own.

“Mmm, Joel,” I mutter, kissing towards his jawline.

He chuckles lightly. “You’ve still got some clothes on.”

I sigh heavily. “What are you going to do about it?”

I look down at him, and I’m met with his uncharacteristically dark eyes that seem barely capable of focusing on anything. His pupils are blown wide, and his vision seems to be drifting, as if he were half-asleep.

He tilts his head and slides down towards my belly. “I’ll do what I want.”

His fingers brush over my clothed entrance, making me jerk slightly with the sensation.

“Oh, fuck,” I say, biting my lip. “More, please…”

“You like that, huh?” he says, hooking his fingers under my panties and slipping them off carefully. “I guess I’ll _have_ to give you more, then…”

Joel plants a kiss on my abdomen, just above my entrance. A single finger drifts down, brushing over my clit, and then penetrates me.

“Mmm, God, Joel-”

“You love having me inside you, don’t you?” he teases before barely touching his lips to my clit.

“F-fuck,” I stutter, waves of pleasure crashing over me as he curls his fingers, hitting that spot he knows to find.

He adds a second finger, and his mouth is pulling at my clit consistently now, making my eyes roll back in my head.

Every flick of his tongue over my clit is causing me to tense a little bit more, and pressure is beginning to build consistently now.

“Ugh, Joel, your mouth is so good,” I moan, running a hand through his wavy hair.

He looks up at me again, raising an eyebrow. “What else do you want?”

“Your tongue…”

“Where?”

“Inside of me…”

He says nothing, but removes his fingers from me and leans down, pressing a final kiss to my clit.

With little to no hesitation, he plunges his tongue into my depths and taps at my clit.

“Oh my fucking _God_ , Joel,” I say, digging my nails into his scalp.

He makes eye contact with me, his eyes showing a gleeful expression as he curls his tongue into my sensitive folds.

“Don’t look at me like that,” I say, pushing his head downwards playfully.

He chuckles slightly, fingers still rubbing and massaging my clit. The pleasure was starting to become overwhelming.

“Oh _God,_ I’m getting close,” I say.

Joel takes this as a signal to switch gears, and begins penetrating me with his fingers again, adding a third finger and sucking aggressively on my clit.

The sensation of his fingers inside of me, rubbing me in all the right ways, and the feeling of his mouth sucking on my clit tips me over the edge.

“ _Joel!_ ” I scream, tensing and flexing my legs around his body. My orgasm crashes over me, heightened by his continued movements. He holds my squirming legs down with his hands, keeping me in my place as I tremble with pleasure.

“Oh, fuck you, you f-fucking asshole,” I curse, trying to wriggle out of his grasp.

He doesn’t let go until I begin wincing with overstimulation. He raises his head from between my legs and wipes his mouth, giving me a chance to breathe and come down from my high.

“Did I complete your request?” he asks, trapping me once again between his arms.

With my chest still heaving from the effort of the struggle, I attempt to answer him. “Y-yeah…That and more…”

“Great.” He leans over and kisses me on the lips slowly and softly, an unusually sweet gesture coming from him. “Let me know when you’re ready for round two.”

I furrow my brow and laugh quietly. “You alright? Before, you were so eager to get started.”

Joel pauses slightly before saying, “Oh, so asking for consent isn’t good now? If that’s how it is…”

I know he isn’t serious, but the gesture still scares me. “Hey, wait, just a second-”

He freezes, realizing what he just said. “Shit, sorry. Too far.”

I soften a little bit and stroke his cheek, trying to find the right words to say. “I-it’s alright, I’m glad you stopped where you did…”

“I went too deep, I’m sorry,” Joel says, ducking his head slightly.

Damn, this really was a mood-killer. “It’s literally fine,” I say, trying to reassure him.

“You sure?” he asks, his eyes full of regret. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

I scoff at him. “I’m your friend with benefits. You can toss me at any time, and we’d both continue on with our little lives like normal.”

Or so I’ve been telling myself for the last few weeks. What just exited my mouth was my inner monologue every time I considered asking him on a real date. That is my rationalization and my defense; these are the walls I’ve put up for myself so I can try not to be disappointed when he inevitably gets bored.

But his reaction is not definitive, like so many of his actions have been tonight. He’s naturally purposeful with what he says, however, his body language does not agree with his usual confident traits.

And it concerns me.

“...You might be my friend, but that doesn’t mean I want to hurt you or drop you. I-I think you’re really great, sex aside,” Joel says.

I choose my words carefully, trying not to let anything slip. “I hope that you like me, I mean, it wouldn’t be fun if you didn’t.”

He furrows his brow and grimaces, rubbing his face slightly. “Yeah… I do really like you.”

“Well, I like you too. And not just your tongue or your dick or…”

He nods. “Can I be real with you for a second?”

My heart sinks. _No, please don’t tell me that we should stop seeing each other…_

“Yeah, always,” I say, shifting into a sitting position.

He sits as well, cross-legged on the bed, facing me. “Ugh… I hate that it has to be this way…but I’d rather be honest.”

There are so many conflicting signals coming from him, but I try not to get mentally unseated. “Yeah, what’s up?”

“Do you remember the agreement we had?” he asks. “That if one of us catches feelings then we should stop?”

My eyes widen, and time seems to slow down. “Yeah?”

He looks up at me, eyes full of sadness. “I’ve definitely caught feelings, and I didn’t want to tell you because I’m selfish and I like you too much.”

“Oh, my God…” I say, clasping my hands to my mouth. My eyes begin filling with tears, tears that I’ve never experienced before. A combination of like eight different emotions, all overwhelming and suffocating me, while simultaneously freeing me. “I-I didn’t know… I mean, I thought I was the only one…”

I feel an arm wrap around my shoulders as tears run down my face. There's a rustle of sheets as Joel rushes to my side to comfort me. “You’re the only what?”

I exhale sharply, wiping at my eyes aggressively. “I thought I was the only one catching feelings.”

“Wait… what?” Joel asks, craning his neck to look me in the eyes. “You feel the same?”

I nod, laughing softly. “This has been so fucking confusing… I like to think I’m an adult, but the things you make me feel… I feel like a teenager with her first requited crush.”

His shoulders begin to shake, and I grab his hand.

“Hey, are you okay?”

I look closer and he’s not crying. 

He’s... _laughing_.

Low, rumbling chuckles erupt into loud exclamations of joy as a huge grin spreads over his face.

 _What the fuck?_ I think to myself, before a tiny smile starts on my own face. His smile, his laughter, his pure _happiness_ , it washes over me like a wave breaking on sand. I begin laughing with him, hugging close to him and leaning my head on his chest.

“W-what are we even laughing about?” I ask shyly as he gives me a gentle squeeze.

He wipes a tear out of his eye and giggles adorably before answering. “Oh, you know. We’re both so emotionally constipated that it took us this long to figure anything out.”

“Emotionally constipated and horny probably _would_ end up like this,” I say.

He kisses me on the forehead. “Now we’re just horny.”

“Hey, don’t start with that yet,” I say warningly, putting a finger on his lips.

“I’ll wait as long as I need to. Requited feelings or not, I still want you.”

“Good to know, “ I say. “Speaking of which, do you want to go on a real date?”

“When and where?” he replies with a smile.

“That nice restaurant by my place, next Saturday at five?” I ask.

He nods slowly. “I’ll make it work.”

I put my hand on his cheek and give him a long kiss.

This kiss… I’m not even sure what was so different about it. I think it’s mostly got to do with the fact that neither of us are holding back anymore. We’re not trying to turn each other on (even though that’s happening anyway), we’re shamelessly enjoying a vulnerable moment.

The feeling of Joel’s arms around me, his lips on mine, our noses touching, all of it leads me back to where we started.

I slowly slide my hand down his chest, down his stomach and brush it against his cock, making him exhale into my mouth.

“You ready?” he murmurs, kissing the corners of my mouth.

I capture his lips once more before thumbing the tip. “Yeah.”

“Mm, is raw okay tonight?”

“As long as you take care of me as well,” I say with a wink.

“You don’t have to worry about that,” he says.

I wrap my fingers fully around his cock and stroke it a few times before repositioning myself, hovering slightly above him.

“Comfortable?” I ask, holding him in place and preparing myself.

He nods, biting his lip and smirking slightly.

I sink down onto him, moaning as his cock penetrates and fills me. I wait until he bottoms out inside of me before rising up again.

“Oh _fuck_ ,” he says, eyes rolling up into his head. “You’re so fucking good every time.”

Pleasure flows through me as I roll my hips again.

He wraps his arms around me, his hands rubbing roughly at my back. “God, I love being inside of you.”

“Y-you never fail to make me feel amazing,” I mumble into his ear, and he throws his head back as I continue rolling my hips, working into a steady rhythm.

I kiss at his exposed neck while his hand drops down to my clit.

“I don’t want you to hold back anymore,” he whispers. His free hand is still on my back, holding me close, enhancing the experience.

I look down at him. His eyes are a different kind of clouded now, they’re full of certainty, arousal, and… _euphoria_. He’s enjoying this far more than I expected him to. 

“Say my name,” he begs, finger barely brushing against my clit with every repetition. He’s currently not helping me out, which is pissing me off.

“F-fuck you, asshole,” I growl, trying to keep the rhythm going.

“Say it and I’ll help,” he says, pressing me even closer to him.

I scrunch up my nose and spit out, “ _Joel_.”

“Ooh, so aggressive. Fine, I’ll help.”

He picks me up by the waist and lays me on the bed, back to the sheets.

“What are you doing?” I ask, crossing my arms.

He kneels between my legs and puts my feet past his thighs. “You’re gonna want to plant your feet.”

“What?” I ask as he moves closer, and suddenly I understand.

He lines himself up and pushes into me, thrusting roughly right off the bat.

“Ugh, _Joel_ ,” I moan, the new position hitting new parts of me and igniting new sensations of pleasure.

He leans over me and grabs my chin, pulling me in for a sloppy kiss. “You look fucking _divine_ right now.”

I squint teasingly at him. “You’ve got your dick in a goddess, you should feel honored.”

“Every damn night,” he says, looking deep into my eyes as he thrusts hard.

I scream out in pleasure, and I know I’ll be feeling it tomorrow. He snakes his hand down to my clit and begins tapping at it once again.

An explosion of pleasure causes me to see stars. “ _Joel_ , yes, God, I fucking-”

“You what?”

“I… I- _fuck_ …”

“Are you close?” he asks, panting heavily.

“Y-yes, holy _shit_ you’re amazing,” I say, babbling nonsense.

He smiles at me brightly. “You’re amazing.”

“Just _fuck me,_ God dammit!” I say, desperate to get off at this point.

“Will do,” he says, focusing on thrusting into me and hitting that spot I love so much.

The squeaking of the bed frame, the sound of skin slapping against skin, his groans, the feeling of him fucking into me, all of it starts to peak in a moment that I can only describe as pure _ecstasy_.

“J-Joel, I-I’m gonna… I’m gonna come!” I say, panic creeping into my voice.

“Don’t worry, me too,” he says, gripping my hips firmly as his thrusts get sloppier. “Come for me, baby.”

At his word, I reach my climax, plunging me into near darkness as my vision tunnels. Waves of pleasure flow through me, making my lungs tighten and causing me to scream Joel’s name.

He pulls out of me, stroking himself a few times and squeezing his eyes shut before he comes onto my stomach. His warm cum pools for a second, but begins dripping down after a few of my deep, heaving breaths.

“Oh, _fuck_ , that was good,” he says, collapsing on the bed next to me.

I slowly and weakly sit up and take a tissue off the bedside table to wipe myself off with. “You know, I was going to tell you something, but I avoided it because I thought it was too forward.”

“It’s been a hell of a night, might as well add something to make it even crazier.”

“Eh, it was a heat-of-the-moment kinda thing, anyway.”

Joel scoffs. “You can’t bring it up and then just not tell me!”

“I can and I will,” I say, brushing my fingers through his hair before laying next to him.

He immediately latches onto me and whispers into my ear. “Please?”

“You can’t act all _cute_ to get me to tell you,” I reply, laughing softly.

“Why not? It’s worked before.”

I plant a kiss on his cheek. “Yeah.”

“So? What is it?” he asks.

“It’s nothing. I just think that I love you.”

“Oh. Well, I thought that was a given.”

I shove him with my shoulder and laugh. “Asshole!”

He cackles before sobering slightly. “Yeah, I think I love you too.”


End file.
